What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

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Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

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When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because it saw some food, or because it felt threatened on the side of the road it was already on.

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What did Superman say to Batman when they first met? Nothing. They are not real.

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What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops