What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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Why is there a black president? Cause you voted for him. Thanks! Dick.

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hello there. I am Elder Young and I with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. What would you say if someone were to offer you peace and happiness through all of eternity?

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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A man walks into a bar, I forget the rest of this joke and your mother's a whore.

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An Irishman walked out of a bar

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Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's not funny.

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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What do you call a fish with no I's Animal cruelty

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Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

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What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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1 111111 1 1 11111111111 1 1 111111 1

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Why did the chicken cross the road. grass was greener on the other side!

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get pulled over. The cop says "Yuck!" Then shoots the redhead because red hair is disgusting.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man in a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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why did tyler detweiler walk across the street? he didnt he has ceribral palsey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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