how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

How do you make a baby stop crying? You throw it out the window.

What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

A handicapped man walks into a bar...

If i wanted your 2 cents i'd rob you

What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

Peter was sitting on a bench. He had a bag of 10 sweets and was eating them slowly. John and Anthony both wanted some, but Peter wanted to still have sweets left over. How many did he give them both? None. He's that selfish.

What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding two worms in your apple. Whats worse than finding two worms in your apple, the Holocaust. Whats worse than the Holocaust, finding three worms in your apple.

What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

A black man has just died on your porch. What do you do? Immediately call for medical assistance and perform CPR.

How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is an object and the black man is a human being.

What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

what do u call a 50 yr old man at disneyland a rapist

How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...