Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

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jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

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Detroit has a low crime rate

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This sentence will not end the way you octopus.

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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What did Kane Larkin get on his birthday? Cancer...

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Jake: Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Steve: She had no Arms. Jake: Knock Knock Steve: Who is there? Jake: Not Sarah

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A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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Why did the blonde fail her science test? Because she spent all day at the hair salon getting her hair died from brown to blonde when she should have spent the time productively studying.

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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roses are red violets are blue polar bears are white grass tends to be green

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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