Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Does it really matter?

What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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