What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs, who got cancer for Christmas, get for his Birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long.

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What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

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shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

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Q: What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? A: You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent at 6 o'clock at night

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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-Bumper Sticker- Honk if you love Jesus. (Text while driving if you want to meet him)

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

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What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

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Knock knock. Its open.

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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Poker face

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What the last thing that went through Osama's mind? A bullet

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Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo) Haha. ~Ali M.~

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

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Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

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Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops