why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

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What do you do if you see a cat crossing the street? Hit it of course!

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Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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Did you hear about the Australian man who was jumped by a gang of Americans with knifes? He had his cash and possessions stolen from him, and had to spend two weeks in hospital due to stab wounds.

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldnt find his shoes? No? ok ill talk to someone who will get the reference

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

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why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

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Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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bunnies are fluffy just like yo mama

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Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

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Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby, once on concrete and once on hardwood

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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