yo mama is so fat, she's obeise

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

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What's Kanye West's goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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Q. Why was the boy depressed? A. Because he lives in a world where apparently all girls are right.

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what do you get when a penguin has a heart atack pengatack

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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What do you call a chair in the middle of the road? A danger to drivers.

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What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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how many flys in a box six --sticksack

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

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Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

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How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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