A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not a blind guy.

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Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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Why can't Osama bin Laden make anymore terrorist attacks? He's dead.

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Racial Equality

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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why is coltin alexander such a duche? because no one loves him

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Umm... Why would it not?

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops