What is long, hard, and full of seamen A submarine you pervert

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So, why won't the blonde date the Asian guy? Because she's afraid of commitment.

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

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Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

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Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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Any similarity between Jesse and a human is purely coincidental!

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What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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What is the differnece between the chair and the pot? You can't cook in the chair.

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A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

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I agree to the terms and conditions

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first

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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