roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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what worse then stepping on a lego? watching your son kill your wife

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

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Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

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How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

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whats the sad part of 4 negroes driving off a cliff? the car couldve fit 5

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Why can't bob fix it? I through a frige at him.he died.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

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How did Bella fly? Very badly.

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One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

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Why is my penis rainbow colored?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on.

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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