How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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What did the players of the all black NBA team say to the white rookie? "Congratulations for making it to the NBA! Your hard work and dedication has certainly paid off."

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How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

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how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Why did the black man walk into the catholic church? He was catholic.

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Yo momma so ugly, except she's not. She's looking beautiful today.

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Listen Nero, you consider us like friends too right?

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

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A guy with a severe attention deficit walks into a bar and... oh, look, the sky is pretty... wait, what was I saying ?

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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Q:How many pieces of paper can one tree make? A:Trees cannot make paper, people make paper from trees. So the answer is none, a tree can't make any paper whatsoever.

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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Maths.

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What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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the power to turn magnetism into light

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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