What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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Whats the difference between a white man and a black man? black people have more melanin in their skin causing it to pigment and turn black

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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You know what happened when I kissed a girl? I enjoyed it so immensely that I received an erection.

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What did the black man say before he went to sleep? im going to sleep

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Parkinson's dl;ghd;jgfldsj;foshdgoljdlkfnjslpaoijejknjvnoidnmaokepinjndonfvio

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What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf mail man? No. Neither did he.

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Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

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What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

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A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

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Knock knock Who's there? Miley Cyrus Holy moly, please come in! Here's your Miley Cyrus CD you order online Thanks you Mr. Mail Man

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What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

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Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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