Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

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Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

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What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

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How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

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So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

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I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

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Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

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How do you make a baby stop crying? You throw it out the window.

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Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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Peter was sitting on a bench. He had a bag of 10 sweets and was eating them slowly. John and Anthony both wanted some, but Peter wanted to still have sweets left over. How many did he give them both? None. He's that selfish.

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What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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what do u call a 50 yr old man at disneyland a rapist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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