Yesterday, I was assasinated.

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roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

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Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

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Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

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what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

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What kind of pizza did the world trade center order? Two cheese pizzas.

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did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face

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Q:How do you sleep with Paris Hilton? A:You don't. she got herpes.

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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