What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the minority say to the white person? Aboobasashagaboogly. He was uneducated, along with the other minorities in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats worse than suicide? death

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Why are you asking me this question? That's awful and you should be ashamed of yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A hill billy went fishing

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you call a black person in KFC? By a Phone.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

thumb_up thumb_down +5

woman's lacrosse

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the horse say to the other horse? Nothing, they're both horses

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what's the difference between a black man and a tricycle well the black man's a human

thumb_up thumb_down +5

two kids see a girl naked in the woods They walk away promptly to their homes and tell their mothers.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: whats the difference between a t.v and a dead baby? A: i don't have a t.v in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops