What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

Theres two things i hate in this world... racists . . . and black people

What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

how many scrubbers does it take to change a light bulb ? 2 , 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell piss

Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

why was the boy sad he had a frog stapled to his face

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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