How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

How many light bulbs? 1

Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

whats worse than find a worm in your apple? finding the holocaust in your apple.

How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...