A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

What's funny? Women's rights.

Sam slept and never woke up again.. Because he followed his dream.

If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to commit suicide

What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

Whats Stupider than john? Nothing.. he's certifiably retarded

A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

Dyslexic drunk died choking on his own vimto last night

Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

why did the black guy die? cancer

How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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