How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

What noise does a Chinese roller coaster make? Chink Chink Chink Chink chink.....

Why did the boy kill his parents? Because he doesn't understand this joke either

Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. What? You are about to die and be eaten. Asshole! i will murder you first!

How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

What did the Asian man say to the taxi driver? Diarrrhea

Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

Why is Skrillex so bad a fishing? He has Parkinson's Disease

Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

She Explored My Body, Licked, Sucked, Swallowed! When Satisfied, She Left! . . . . Damn Mosquito!!!

What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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