Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? a guy who copies antijokes on ant joke.com

There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

Paper or plastic? Yes...

What did the chicken say to the duck .... Nothing the chickin was Spanish and the duck was illiterate

Listen Supervisor, this is Agent Clarke of the GOV and the WHO, I suggest you respond ASAP, I suggest you put set me in touch with either Lady, or Axel Knight right away, this is a matter of your personal security.

What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

What do you call hunter ? An anerexic that is skinny as a tooth pick. Duh

How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

A blonde walks into a bar therefore her face hurts

Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

a white guy walks into a black guy bar who walks out. A. half black half white baby.

What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

what's funnier than AIDS on a holocaust boy? everything. AIDS and the Holocaust are two terrible things.

If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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