knock knock who's there? banana well that's an odd name. banana then began to break down in tears because his parents were constant drug abusers and gave him that name while they were high

What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

Why arent guys and girls the same? Cause there different

Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

How many pancakes does it take to lift up a dog house? Silly goose, alligators can't fly!

What's fat and ugly? Your face ... But only if its fat and ugly

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because if he stayed on the farm, he would have been condemned to a miserable life, subjected to deplorable living conditions and an eventual pain-filled death by the hand of a cruel and heartless farmer. Crossing that road was his only chance of salvation.

What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

Q:Why don't black people go on cruises? A:They already fell for that trick once.

What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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