Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man drove up to a drive-thru. He ordered a coke, but the lady at the window spilled it on his lap. He promptly changed his clothes and accepted the lady's apology.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a Black White supremisist? Well you see the Black man was blind and thought he was a racists redneck. He then contracted cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Gay rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? Nothing. Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth due to a tragic, world wide extinction about 65 million years ago while small mammals which would eventually evolve into humans survived.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

thumb_up thumb_down +10

today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops