Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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A black man and a white man crash their cars. they promptly exchange insurance information and apologize to each other about the inconvenience.

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A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

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A Black Man Walks Into an Office For A Job Interview. The Meeting Goes Very And He Soon Has A Very Nice Steady Job.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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