What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

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A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

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Q:whats big white and falls out of trees A:a refrigerator

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Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

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Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not sally

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wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

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It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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Why are the asians on cabin services? Because they do not speak english well enough to converse with guests.

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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What's 1+1? 69.

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were did the gay guy go nowere because it was raining outside

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Women's Rights

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops