What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him "why the long face?" "All horses have long faces" he replied.

My three children are three big mistakes.

Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

what do you get when you cross a red snugulo and a blue glurga? your on acid

a black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. the bartender says thats cool where did you get it ....... the parrot says africa

Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

Q: What do you call a innocent black man that was shot 403 times by the cops when they asked for his ID and somehow assumed he was gonna reach for a gun? A: Deceased Texan.

Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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