What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

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What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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Math Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

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what did the black, asian and jew have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantoulope.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

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knock knock who's there? your mom your mom who? I'm sorry to tell your mom is dead :.(

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A Chinese, American, and German were all on the a boat sinking off the Border of the U.S. So the American called the U.S Coast Guard and they were rescued and taken to a nearby hospital. Two of the three members are still alive today and haunted by the memory of that day.

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What happens if you go one louder? Nothing because you can't

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What is the difference between a Homosexual and a Heterosexual? They are both Black.

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Im sitting in class trying to write a joke. I should be writing my speech But i'm better off trying to think of the funniest joke that could get on the front page with over 9000 likes :( Lol nah thats never going to happen :'(

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What should you say when someone says a bad joke? I'm sorry, your joke cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and don't try again.

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Now this bible thing, is a real anti joke so get ready to have your faith tested, and overcome it: There was that story where God charged against an army at the top of some mountains, the army is told to have been led with God personally at the front rank right? But they lost because the enemy had horse wagons (you know what I mean) made of steel or iron, (does not matter what it is if you ask yourself really) I mean even if it was Metatron, he would have had uh... Wings or something to even the odds, Maybe God is like Raiden from Mortal Kombat, he needs to become a Mortal in order to enter fights on earth... MORTAL KOMBAAAT! I mean God made humans humans made Sin (gotta say we get the blame for a lot of shit others did, I hate apples and cant even stand the smell of them for once, never ate one)

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

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yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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LISTEN UP PEEPS, I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU MY PASSWORD.. just as shown on screen THIS IS IT: ******* YEP just as shown on screen

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What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

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Why do I exist? Because my mom gave birth to me.

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How many babies can you fit on a ferris wheel? None, babies aren't allowed to ride

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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