Why didn't the chicken cross the road? because it got shot before it could get there.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

Why was the man burying his child? because in france, fishing is only allowed 3 times a day

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

A black and a white walk into a bar, d.r. King would be proud.

Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

whats bad about being black and jewish they have to sit in the back of the oven

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

Wanna hear a joke......... your moms face !!

don't do anything i wouldn't do first

Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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