the sky is green no it is not

Roses are red. Waffles are blue. Blue Waffle.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

Three guys walk into a bar. First guy goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. Second guy goes up and orders 2 beers. Third guy sits down and saves seats for the other two guys.

hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

What did the lawyer name is daughter? Caroline, in honor of his grandmother who died in THe Holocaust.

knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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