whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

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according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Three black men walk into a gas station and don't steal anything.

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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