Why don't birds cry when they get hurt, lose a loved one, or watch opera? How the f*** should I know.

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A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Ginger? Their pigmentation.

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Sooo, when exactly did you become a man? Is this subject boring you?

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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a teacher walked into a bar and when he walked out he went to his car and proceeded to take notes about the bible, not realising he's supposed to be writing notes from his English book... he's dyslexic and got punched in the eye while he was in the bar; did i mention he doesn't drink?

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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Who's Micheal Jackson?

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What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

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It's likely that very few people will read this.

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What do you call a black man on the moon An astronaut

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What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

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The Qur'an

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She was too tired and was afraid that if she got behind the wheel it might cause her to fall asleep at the wheel which would result in an accident.

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What's worse than finding an apple in your worm... I mean, a worm in your apple ? "Then I took an arrow to the knee" jokes.

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

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A dog walks up to a puddle of pee and he starts to smell it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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