whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

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roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

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Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

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Why was the ghast from minecraft crying? His family died

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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a dog walks into a bar....it sees the horse and starts barking which ever dentally startles and confuses the horse resulting in tables and chairs being knocked over .

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what is worse than a guy pissed?

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Q: Why did they bury the Indian? A: Because he was dead.

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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Q: What did the hooker say to the priest? A: That was a wonderful sermon. I look forward to next Sunday's church service.

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Guy1: Hey! Do you want to hear a potassium joke? Guy2: Sure! Guy1: K

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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what do you do when you see a black man punching a girl? act like you dont see it and get the hell out of harms way

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Walt disney Walks Into A Bar, The Bartender says "WOAH ITS WALT DISNEY!"

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Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

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someone tell england that a depressed guy smoking a cigarette is not a movie.

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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Did you hear about the Australian man who was jumped by a gang of Americans with knifes? He had his cash and possessions stolen from him, and had to spend two weeks in hospital due to stab wounds.

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Where's my baby??

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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