Why did the cat die? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So coool! How did you do that dinosaur!?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock Whose there? The pizza you ordered That's weird, the Pizza I ordered shouldn't be able to talk

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was johnny so good at reading? Because he had 3. Toes

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the train stop? - It was surrounded by elephants

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a man walks off of a damn. a damn is not a noun, thus nobody can walk off it

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Malcolm Johnson from Zenith windows, I was wondering if I could speak to you for a while about some fantastic offers which we currently have on double glazed windows....

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There was 3 guys. A mexican, a black guy, and a jew. They work at a construction site and one day they found what appears to be a magic lamp. The mexican guy rubs the lamp hoping for a genie to appear and grant them wishes. Sure enough a genie appears. "I have been freed from the magic lamp." Says the genie "I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The mexican guy did not understand english. The jew steals the lamp and the black guy stabs him. The next day a blonde goes to the crime scene. He spot the magic lamp on the floor, picks it up, and rubs it. The genie appears. "I have been freed from the lamp. I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The blonde says "I wish Jose could speak ad understand english." Suddenly, the mexican appears and says "Thank you."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Not really a anti joke: Superman is flying over town when he suddenly spots a completely naked Spiderwoman moaning and all sweaty while rubbing her her legs, This gets Superman really h0rny but does not want to get caught, so he flies down and bangs away so fast nobody notices a thing a thing and leaves. Spiderwoman: Hey honey whats wrong? Please come lie on top of me again! Invisible Man: AAAAAAARGH!!! IT FEELS LIKE I HAVE A DAMN BOWLING BALL UP MY ASS HOLE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because its rayseans favorite number

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops