What did the cat say to the hamster? Meow

How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

There once was a man from Madrass, whose balls were made out of brass. This was incredibly embarrassing for him, and rendered him infertile and impotent, which in turn affected his relationships with women.

WHO LET THE GHOST OUT! BOO BOO BOO BOO BOO! Mortals: That was a bit funny...

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

How do u kill a black man You don't or else u will get intouble for murder but u can if u want there r many ways

Rap. Skate. Smoke.

Women's Rights

What do you call someone who doesn't have a soul? A ginger

How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

A apple is red a banana is to never mind that joke sucks

If I became the president of the U.S.A I would change our national animal from eagle to smeagle. Like this if you agree. By Adam Chebali

Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

You are the most beautiful person in the world.

God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

Why did Sally fall off the Empore State Building? Her mother threw a refrigerator at her. -BG

What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

Why did the Chicken cross the road? To get to Your House. Knock Knock. Who's there? The chicken

A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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