a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

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What is worse than the holocaust? DUH! A worm in MY apple!

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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What do you call a black priest? Father, and then whatever his name happens to be.

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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What did the man say when he saw Niagra falls? Nothing, he was blind.

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A Guitar is an instrument. As far as you know...

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i have yougurt mit traktor

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Why did the kid drop his football? He had a heart attack

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On a tusday night, three guys walk into a bar After realising they have to work they proceed to exit

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Why did the Mexican fail his english test? Because he had studied for an inadequate amount of time and proceeded to fornicate with many women, also preventing him from sleeping for the advised 7-8 hours a night.

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If Johnny has 4 dollars and Clarissa has 7 dollars, how many dollars do they have all together? 11 dollars Knock knock Who's There? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny and Clarrisa, all together we have 11 dollars.

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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Q: How do you know if you have had too much to drink? A: When you find a bloody hole where your kidney is.

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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Christopher Reeves walks into a bar.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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My cat just died.

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You're mama's SO stupid that when she applied to college, they were happy to help.

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What did the Asian get on his math assignment? 56%, he forgot about it and passed it in a day late with a number of questions uncompleted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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