I'm so full I could stop eating.

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What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

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What do a helicopter and a banana have in common? They are both edible. Except for the helicopter.

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

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Why did the monkey cross the road? Because he saw the chicken do it.

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What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

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The 80's called. They need their couch back.

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This is a joke.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KGB Yes, How can I help? We are looking for a local serbian mobster who we believe to be hiding in this Village have you seen this man. No I cant say I have. Sorry Well thank you for your time and if you notice anything please try and let the local Police know.

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Shaun Sutton Call me: 1-800-tryhard ;)

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

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Whats the opposite of purple? Your adopted

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Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

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-Why was six afraid of seven? -Because seven's a rapist

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops