Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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LIKE FOR GANGNAM STYLE. DISLIKE FOR JUSTIN BIEBER LETS SEE WHO WINS

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What dinosaur makes honey? The Bee Rex.

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Laughter is the best medicine. No, Heroin is.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The Holocaust.

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Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

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Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he knew that the neighbors wouldn't "touch him there"

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What did Helen Keller say to the little boy with cancer? Hudd Wahher shelper, ghh o.

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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Neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. It never receives it because it can't talk and is far too small to see.

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knock knock whos there cops o shit come on they found out about pot lets go

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Hey Bill, did you know we have a black guy in our family tree? Really? Yeah, he's still hanging there

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what did the boy with cancer want for christmas? a gun

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How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops