Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

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Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

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Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

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Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

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One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

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1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let the chickens out?!

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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What kind of shots does John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

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Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

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Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not. Sally..

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

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Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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i dont fisish anythi

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Why does Rebecca Black like Friday? Because it's the start of the weekend

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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