A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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What starts with P and ends in ORN Popcorn!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Getting laid at the special Olympics.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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a man checks his mypsace

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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