What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

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What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

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Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

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A man went skydiving and tragically died.

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

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Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

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A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

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Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

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what's worse than pie? alot of things.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

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Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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