How many people can you fit in an oven? Six million, according to Hitler.

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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Guess what! What? huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu

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how do you kill chuck norris? you dont, killing is illegal

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

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Why did the boy kill his parents? Because he doesn't understand this joke either

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What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

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I'm going to rewrite history. History.

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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what makes a knight in shining armor a knight in shining armor? he has to have armor and be a knight.

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Presents

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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