Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

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What did Michael jackson say to Abraham Lincoln? Nothing, there are both currently deceased, if they did, however, say something to each other, it would not be in person, because they are both dead.

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what do u call a Muslim flying a plane??? 9-11

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a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

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Adam eats ginger nuts the fookin chicken

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Roses are red Violets are Blue Let's just screw

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Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own? The kickstand was broken and the child whom of which owned the bicycle no longer had the need for training wheels.

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A man tells a blonde "you are what you eat" and she replies "well, i don't think I've eaten any sexy beasts today.'

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

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a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

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Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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