Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the leper say to the prostitute? "How much?! No thanks, I think I'll shop around."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses r Red Violets r Blue I'm schizophrenic So am i too!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the one midget say to the other midget? We r both small

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? Being raped... What's worse than being raped? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two flies in your soup

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Your mommas so fat she jumped into the ocean and immediately had to start swimming.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Is it considered sexual harassment if a midget says to a woman, "your hair smells nice"? Holy crap i don't like black people.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? the pigment in their skin.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A woman walked into a bar. She dragged her drunk husband off his stool and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was the boy sad The boy wanted a puppy for his Birthday So his parents got him a Toy dog Later that year he was found dead with the Toy Dog shoved down his mouth gagging him.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Whats brown and smells bad poo

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? A: "Here come the elephants over the hill!"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why do black people like watermellon? becasue it is a delicious red fruit at a wonderful price

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops