What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had very recentley made his escape from a nearby farm, of which was owned by a man close to dying of a Rhabdoid Tumor. His family was in mourn.

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Out of Jill, Jason, Jesse, Jane and Harold, which one is the odd one out? Jason, because he only has one arm.

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

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9/11 my birthday

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What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

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What do you call a kid that hasnt passes 7th grade? A 6th grader

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A man walks off the top of a very tall building. Why did he fall off? Because he was blind

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A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

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Why did the officer arrest the black man? Because he suspected him of littering. ...and because he was black.

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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what did the little boy say to his sibling? dat not funny!

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Person1: wanna hear a joke? Person2: yeah Person1: ok

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So my wife was in the kitchen, and I asked her to make me a sandwich. She agreed. I then volunteered to make her one. Lesbian relationships are amazing.

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What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

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How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops