Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

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A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe Well one is a human, beating heart, and the other is a small boat you row in

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What did your Little brother get for Christmas? Lice.

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How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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Q: If your riding down the Nile on a boat and your boat springs a leak, how many boxes of pancake mix does it take to fix the hole? A: 58, because Koalas are marsupials

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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why did the computer monitor stop working? Becasue it has a date with a slice of cheese.

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What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

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What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

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wormly wormly sat on the worm theworm said wormly and went to warmly

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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A child rides his bike down the sidewalk and stops at an intersection. He looks both ways, then crosses the road. What was he looking for? His family.

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ no I know my ABC etc:

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Wenis Penis

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Why did the fox cross the road? To chew on the chicken carcass.

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Why was it so hard for teachers to teach Tommy? Tommy is brain dead

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A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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