Me: Ask me if I'm an orange. You: Are you an orange? Me: No

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

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Why did the blonde fail her science test? Because she spent all day at the hair salon getting her hair died from brown to blonde when she should have spent the time productively studying.

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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