Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

Why does Rebecca Black like Friday? Because it's the start of the weekend

Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

i dont fisish anythi

what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

The next person to submit a 'roses are red' 'joke', is cursed to always prematurely ejaculate from here until eternity

Why did the chicken cross the road? What chicken? That one! Grandma, that's a hobo. Put your glasses on.

"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

LOVING BIRD DIEING BIRD DO NOT FLY AWAY

What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

Q:Whats worse than stubbing your toe? A: Watching a terrorist saw your dads arm off.

Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

there was a black guy and white guy, they were walking down a street to da bus stop, the bus comes by and says where yall goin and they say 21st avenue street; so they walk away and the black guy says(in a black voice): "wait buses dont talk!"

A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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