Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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Three guys walk into a bar. First guy goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. Second guy goes up and orders 2 beers. Third guy sits down and saves seats for the other two guys.

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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Yo mama is so short, she has trouble reaching the top shelf.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

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Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

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A white man got injected by Heroin at a party and got instantly addicted.

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

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What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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What did the Cat get for Christmas? Nothing cats don't celebrate Christmas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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