What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats red and hurts your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +13

ADAM SAS IS A GREAT GUY!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? like most animals that wander onto the road, it was completely unaware that the road can be very dangerous. It didn't go onto the road on purpose, it simply treated the road as if it was just like the rest of the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the man beat his wife? why not?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops