What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

What's did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

The other day I was talking to this guy... Nice guy

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

What's big, yellow and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A JCB!

Why did Superman cross the road? I dunno.

What's the number 1 tip to burning stomach fat? Lighting yourself on fire.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

god sent down his only son, " his only son." so in gods eyes we are a bunch of girls.

What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

"Why do children's movies show everything in that happens in the movie in the trailer?" "The same reason I show children everything that's inside of my trailer."

What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

A man came home from work and said to his wife im going to kill u

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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