What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Anal

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what's worse than 24? 6 million.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You tell me. I have amnesia.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Corn Muffins

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops