Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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I mustache you a question. But I'll shave it for later.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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