"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

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What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six wasn't. He listens in on women's self defense classes and can deliver a kick to the crotch so hard that it will create for you a new vagina.

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Two elephants were in a bathtub. One elephant asks the other "pass the soap?" The other elephant passes him the soap and they continue with their bath.

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Why isn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She's dead.

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

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Ok so there were 2 white dudes telling black jokes...so one of the white dudes tells a joke to the other... 1st dude: what's brown and tall? 2nd dude: a tree 1st dude: no that scary black man who looks like he wants to beat us up.

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read this sentence again.

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Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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what's better than winning a gold metal at the special olympics? not being retarded.

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Happy Monday!

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roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Q: Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: Because he was hit by a bus, and then was raped violently. He is currently undergoing psychotherapy.

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So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

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An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops