What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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who likes to gets to get fisted A) sock puppets

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

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So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

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Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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What do you call someone who sits on anti joke every day? Luke Skywalker

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Q: What did the serial rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

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My captcha thing says "hulk smash" lol bahahahahahahaha, k

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You know whats funny about 9/11? Nothing.

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A man walks into a bar. The initial impact knocks him violently to the ground, where he lies gasping in agony. Flustered and in a state of psychological shock, he shakily reaches up and touches his head in an attempt to asses the damage he has sustained and establish the seriousness of the situation. He lets out a resigned whimper when he realises his hands are stained a deep red. More blood gushes in torrents from his left temple, and the man chokes on his vomit as he writhes on the ground uncontrollably, incessant waves of pain washing over him. The protruding metal bar left so carelessly in his path has done a lot more damage than the man is aware of. His skull has been shattered in several places and he has suffered additional fractures to his cheek bone and jaw. Also, the sheer force at which the man has collided with the bar means that he is severely concussed and the onset of brain haemorrhage is becoming very likely. Brain haemorrhage is a very common cause of strokes and, if left untreated, the bleed will almost certainly kill the man in later life. However, the chances of the man reaching this stage in his life are now almost non-existent. He is losing copious volumes of blood from the wounds sustained to his face, and is becoming weaker by the second. He needs a blood transfusion immediately if he is to live. But nobody is there to go to his aid. The harsh reality is, he is doomed...

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What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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A man walks into a bar and pulls out a tiny piano and a 12 inch pianist, which is really just his member with a smiley face drawn on it. Somebody calls the police muttering, "What is this world coming to?"

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why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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