Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

Q: Why was little Timmy afraid of clowns? A: The one at his birthday party killed his parents.

Apple hates Blackberry.

what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

a dyslexic man walked his god.

A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

A guy says to a palm reader "You look like you've seen a ghost. Palm reader replies "You've got cum on your hand."

What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

Where is aodhan's ma? Jail, she was cought with a bag full of the white powder.

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

So two people have conversation Luke: Hi Logan: Hi Snake eyes: ALHSKjagjdaoggj;jdjg;aj;kaj'dgajd Luke: You are so smart! (you retarted piece of poo) Logan: GAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBEEEEEEN

Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

Whats luckier than finding a lucky penny? winning the lottery.

Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

So there's this girl who really wanted red socks. She goes to the store, socks are $2. Well, that sucks, she thinks. I only have $1. So she goes home and asks her mom for a buck. Sure, the mom replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my vacuum cleaner. So the girl fixes the vacuum cleaner, mom giver her the buck. The girl goes to the store, but wait. Socks are $3 now. Girl goes home, asks her dad for a buck. Sure, the dad replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my car. Girl fixes car, dad gives het a buck. Girls goes to store.Well damn, the socks are $4 now. She goes home and asks her brother for a buck. Sure, her brother replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my computer. Girl fixes computer, brother giver her a buck. Girl goes to store and FINALLY buys the socks. She comes home. Mother dead. Vacuum cleaner exploded. For 1 month the girl mourns her mom. Finally she can wear her socks. Ah crap, car accident. After 1 month mourning her dad she can finally wear the socks. Well, turns out she can't. Brother dead cause of exploded computer. After yet another month of mourning, she can FINALLY wear her red socks. So she does. Suddenly the doorbell rings. The girl opens the door and there's a polar bear standing in front of her. What did the polar bear say? WELL NOTHING, BECAUSE POLAR BEARS CANNOT TALK!!!

A Catholic, a Protestant, and a Jew are stranded in the middle of the ocean on a raft. They all die of dysentery.

What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

Why was the kindergartener crying in the corner? His family was poor and his father abused him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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