Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

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So three men walk into a bar and buy a round of drinks for everyone. As they do this, three kenyans die of dehydration while their families weep at their feet.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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What do you call Americans Watching Canadians? Hockey

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Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

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So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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The other day I was talking to this guy... Nice guy

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What's did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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god sent down his only son, " his only son." so in gods eyes we are a bunch of girls.

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What's the number 1 tip to burning stomach fat? Lighting yourself on fire.

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Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

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Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

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What's big, yellow and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A JCB!

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"Why do children's movies show everything in that happens in the movie in the trailer?" "The same reason I show children everything that's inside of my trailer."

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What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

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What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops