Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A blonde is a human woman and a bowling ball is an inanimate object used for the popular sport of bowling.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

0000000010000000000000001000000000000000000000011111111000000000111111000000000000000000011111000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000100000000000000000000000000000000000000001000000000000000000000000000000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000000000111100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001111111111111111100000000000000000000000001000000000000001000000000000000000000000001000000000000100000000000000000000000000001111111111111000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 SMILE

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

caoimhin is a dorty carrot

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the chicken say to the.... nevermind

thumb_up thumb_down +10

there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Two holocausts.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the man write with a pen on paper? Because he was writing a novel.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Jimmy Saville

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the chinese man die because someone shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Mum makes $97 per hour working online? Offline I can see , but online, mmm pull the other one, it plays lossless codecs

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the man fall down? because he was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops