How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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A man walks into a pole and says "I know, this pun is lame"

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what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

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Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

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Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

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why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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What do you call a black man in church? Religious

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What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

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Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

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Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

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What Happens when you kill a dragon? Nothing, there not real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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