Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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It was a boys birthday, his mom died of cancer, his dad of aids, and all of his siblings were put in a gas chamber. Happy Birthday

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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